Redefining the Late Bloomer
Let me tell you, if it were up to me the term “Late Bloomer” would be retired, considered obsolete, stricken from our very consciousness.
It is condescending, dripping with the implication that you are somehow flawed if you don’t bloom according to a predetermined timeline.
Our insecurity about making choices that could be considered unacceptable or odd is on full display every day as illustrated by these examples I pulled from social media just last week.
“Am I being foolish to think at 74-years-old I can fall in love again?”
“Do you think 33 too late to go back to school and get a degree?”
“I have a chance to change careers and do work I really love, but I worry that 40 is too old to start over!”
Mainstream advice cautions that true joy can only be found when you stop comparing yourself to others.
Yet it is the collective behavior, skills, and accomplishments of others that set the standards by which our progress in life is determined to be timely – or not.
If there is any doubt in your mind, take a moment to check our handy online dictionary for the definition of Late Bloomer.
A late bloomer is someone that does not come into his or her own, either mentally or physically, until after most other peers.
Fortunately, not everyone agrees with the concept of predetermined life stages.
Many psychologists insist that development is an ongoing process that continues throughout our lives, and it is this perspective that opens the door to redefining our path to the process we call blooming.
Profile of the Late Bloomer
Let’s begin by challenging the traditional notion that Late Bloomers are people who have developed slower than their peers.
This assumption does not take into consideration extenuating factors that can contribute to blooming later in life such as the following.
Family responsibilities, childcare or caring for family members.
Lack of education or opportunities to gain skills.
Physical or mental health challenges.
Those who are born into poverty or dysfunctional family situations often find themselves without the resources they need to pursue dreams and goals.
If you saw the film The Pursuit of Happyness with Will Smith you’re familiar with the story of Chris Gardner.
His childhood years were marked by brutal abuse which led to endless struggles as a young adult.
Eventually, he found himself a single parent, homeless and destitute.
In his late 20s, through an improbable series of events, Gardner discovered investment banking, and it turned out to be a perfect match for his math and people skills.
Today Chris Gardner is worth roughly $70 million.
He is a motivational speaker and philanthropist who sponsors several charitable organizations. He has also helped fund a $50 million project in San Francisco that creates low-income housing and opportunities for employment in the area of the city where he was once homeless.
You are precisely where you need to be at this moment, even if it doesn't feel like you 'fit' with other people your age. It's okay to be a later bloomer, it’s even better to bloom more than once. After all, perennials are often the sweetest, most beautiful flowers. ~Marquita Herald
Redefining What It Means to Bloom
Ultimately the process of blooming is simply about developing your talents and abilities by allowing yourself to grow authentically, and contrary to most examples of blooming, it isn’t always about achieving success in our professional lives.
Gladys Burrill ran her first marathon in 2004 at age 86. In 2010 at 92 she completed the Honolulu Marathon in 9 hours, 53 minutes and 16 seconds earning the world record for the oldest woman to compete in a marathon.
Vera Wang's name is synonymous with luxury bridal fashion, but she didn't design her first wedding dress until she was 40. Before that she was a competitive figure skater and fashion editor at Vogue. Wang has mastered the pivot!
Toni Morrison didn't publish her first novel, The Bluest Eye, until she was 39. She went on to win the Nobel Prize in Literature at age 62, becoming one of the most celebrated authors of the 20th century.
Betty White's career spanned decades, but her resurgence as a pop culture icon didn't happen until her 80s. Her comedic timing and charm earned her a whole new generation of fans, proving you are never too old to reinvent yourself.
James Arruda Henry was taken out of school around the third grade to help support the family. For most of his life he hid the fact he had never learned to read or write.
At 98 he became determined to learn and at 99 published his autobiographical essays In a Fisherman's Language and spent the rest of his days as a reading advocate and giving talks to students encouraging them to never let age or circumstances stop them from pursuing dreams.
If you feel like you've missed the boat or haven't 'made it' yet I want to encourage you to reframe this. Instead, look at the remaining years of your life as full of opportunity, no matter what your past looks like. You get to bloom more than once, and when you are ready, not when the world thinks you should. ~Emma Scheib
May You Be Forever Blooming
If we accept that each of us are different, unique in our nature, experiences and resources, then assuming that we should all be on the same journey in a predefined schedule becomes all the more absurd.
And yet, we are obsessed with comparing ourselves to others even when we know so little of their story.
The truth is that for every famous late bloomer; there are countless others whose names we will never know.
It is the struggling student who goes on to become a passionate and beloved teacher, the writer who endures hundreds of rejections before producing a string of bestsellers, or the empty nester Mom who goes back to college and earns her MBA.
And what about people who reinvent their whole lives after suffering a traumatic event or colossal failure?
Can you bloom more than once?
I choose to believe that you can.
So, here’s my idea.
How about we ditch the notion of being early or late to becoming who we are meant to be, learn to love the process as much as the outcome, and embrace ourselves as Forever Blooming
The Takeaway
Never give up on the idea that there is always something more to learn, more growing to be done, another season in which to bloom.
Why should we limit our lives based on traditional stages that are no longer relevant in today’s world?
It’s time to recognize that age is not the barrier, it’s our own self-imposed limitations that hold us back.
Create your own timeline.
There is no right or wrong time to bloom, there is only your time.
Here’s to living & loving your resilient life!
MH